At 3:00 AM, the ocean still moves but everything around you is darkness. Your human eyes can only see the length of the moon beam reflections on the water. You feel you’re moving – forward? backward? side ways? – but you can’t see where you’re going. The images of 3AM wave riding remain with me because it’s a lot to take in.
My first night out in the ocean, I stayed awake on full alert. Then, out of nowhere, another boat popped up on our radar. I spent the wee hours of the morning talking with them on the radio, and they had no idea how soothing their voice was when you’re surrounded by nothing.
I use this example to explain life guides.
Life guides are teachers, warriors, supporters, family, strangers who enter your life unexpectedly with the designed purpose to teach you a specific lesson or help you move through a life transition. Part of fully trusting powers larger than yourself means staying open to life guides, acknowledging their presence in your life, and keeping your heart open and attuned to the lesson they’re here to deliver specifically to you.– Sheena Jeffers, MSEd, Wellness Lifestyle Coach
When we’re walking around on this earth, it’s easy to categorize people and our relationship to them. They’re strangers, friends, acquaintances, lovers, colleagues, family. Once we’ve categorize them, we don’t stop there. We go so far as to categorize the varying degrees of intimacy: “best friend,” “second cousin,” “ex-lover whom I don’t speak to.” Because of our innate inclination to immediately categorize someone, it’s easy to miss a lot about them. It’s easy to not get curious about who they are and why they’re here, specifically right now, in your life.
It’s important to understand that not everyone currently in your life is a life guide (which is why this is totally confusing!) So, how do you know then who is a life guide?
You will notice some very distinct and obvious actions.
You know you’re looking at a life guide provided specifically for you if…
- First: They appear unexpectedly, sometimes in odd ways at odd times in many shapes, sizes and forms. If you’re looking at a human life guide, it could be an old friend, a new stranger, someone far older or younger than you. You may wonder at the timing and the intrigue of it all. This is your first clue: they are here for either good or bad. It’s important for you to stay open and attentive during this time. If they’re a true life guide, you’ll feel everything listed below. If they are distractors (energy vampires, negative influences) there to pull you off track, you will not feel everything listed below. Instead, you’ll feel negative feelings. If you feel those negative feelings, you are not in the presence of a life guide; you’re in the presence of a life lesson or challenge.
- If they’re a true life guide… then: They get uniquely close to you fast. This is because they see you: the real you. They see what you’re going through and what you’re struggling with. They see what you hope to achieve. They don’t need to know everything about your past because they see you right here, right now.
- They ask you important, pointed, challenging questions. They are raising your self-awareness without telling you. They helping you find your own clarity and serving as a safe space for you while you do so.
- You feel no judgement from them. They are not here to judge you. They are here to hear you, see you, guide you. You’ll notice you feel safe talking to them and possibly seek them out during weak moments. When you do seek them out, they appear fully.
- They know what you need to hear without you telling them. What they say resonates with you deeply, whether you tell them that or not. They’ll say what your soul needs to hear, not what your ego or mind wants to hear.
- Their commitment to you will be obvious. They will call and check-in with you. They will follow up. They will stay present and deeply involved out of genuine interest (because they know they’re role; they’re fulfilling a mission they know they’re intended to do) and they take it seriously.
- Their timing is always zeroed in. They can sense when you need something: a call, a text, a check-in, a 4-hour talk, a recommendation of a good book. Even if it’s a simple, “I’m thinking of you” text, it always comes at a moment of high intensity for you and feels like relief.
- They celebrate you with ever new level of self-awareness you reveal. They understand this work takes time, and they’re waiting patiently for you to arrive. They will celebrate when you’ve exhibited a new growth. They want for you to feel successful, secure and armed with healthy mental habits.
- Their involvement with you will feel concentrated during the time they’re doing their most important work. As life flows, and as you move through whatever you’re experiencing, your life guide’s involvement may intensify and/or wane. This is because they know how to push you and how to let you rest when rest is absolutely necessary. You may not sense this right away, but stay observant and you’ll notice your life guide’s in-and-out movement of your life as divinely timed.
- They back up and watch from afar after you’ve moved through what they helped you with. Their concentrated work being done, they give you space to thrive.
Let’s play this out.
Someone enters your life and you are now in a special position to get curious about them. First, notice how you feel around them.
- If you’re feeling safe, secure, cared for… you may be in the presence of a life guide. Start paying close attention.
- If you’re feeling threatened, ruffled, irritated… you may be in the presence of a life lesson repeating itself to test you. Start asking yourself some tough personal questions and set healthy boundaries.
- If you’re feeling ehhh.. blah, nothing really… it may just be another human sharing earth at the same time as you. OK, fine! Be kind and move on.
Once you’ve decided if you’re in the presence of a life guide, a life lesson or just another human being, you can start doing the work that comes next.
Life guides are truly eye-opening and transformational for your life. The sooner you recognize them, the more potent their work will feel for you. Perhaps you’re just now realizing your life guides from your past? It’s never too late to thank them.
Now, go, brave soul! Get curious about who is in your life and why!
Sheena Jeffers, MSEd, is a Wellness Lifestyle Coach helping clients design balance, boundaries and sustainable methods of flourish for their daily lives. Schedule a session with Sheena today and watch your life change!